No, No, No, You have that All Wrong!

No, No, NoYou Have that All Wrong!Two commercials caught my attention while watching the news last night. One for a car company’s line of SUVs and the other for . . . well I am not really sure what they were advertising.  Both commercials feature a young dating couple.  Both talk about their future together. Specifically, when they make the big decision to be roommates/move in together. Both discuss getting pets for their new home/car and future children.

No, no, no, NO!

You have that all wrong!

You skipped an important step! You NEVER mention marriage!

Sexual intimacy before marriage is what God calls fornication. It is sinful. It is not God’s plan. Jesus teaches that a man leaves his home, marries his wife and then the two become one flesh. (Matt 19:5-6).

The following is from an article from George Washington University’s Communitarian Network / Research.*

“The tentative, impermanent, and socially unsupported nature of cohabitation impedes the ability of this type of partnership to deliver many of the benefits of marriage, as does the relatively separate lives typically pursued by cohabiting partners. The uncertainty about the stability and longevity of the relationship makes both investment in the relationship and specialization with this partner much riskier than in marriage. . . . cohabitation reduces the benefits and increases the costs of specializing-it is much safer to just do everything for yourself since you don’t know whether the partner you are living with now will be around next year. So cohabiting couples typically produce less than married couples.”

When children are involved then “Parents . . . of a cohabiting couple are ill-advised to invest in the partner emotionally or financially until they see if the relationship will be long term. They are also ill-advised to become attached to children of their child’s cohabiting partner because their “grandparent” relationship with that child will dissolve if the cohabitation splits up.” The article continues stating, “the parenting role of a cohabiting partner toward the child(ren) of the other person is extremely vaguely defined.”

The article continues to talk about an higher frequency of domestic violence among cohabiting couples, economic issues, emotional well-being issues (a higher diagnosis of depression in cohabiting couples), and a greater likelihood of divorce if they do eventually marry.

Maybe God knew what He was doing when He established marriage in the Garden of Eden.


* Waite, Linda J, The Negative Effects of Cohabitation, – The Communitarian Network:Vol 10, Issue 1, Winter 1999/2000 (



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