Marriage Monday – A Short Post


In August of 1989 I was looking forward to August 12.  That Saturday I would marry my best friend.  (We are still married and still best friends.)  As the day neared my father offered me some advice, advice that I share with young couples who are planning to marry.  Advice I gladly share with you.  If you do not know my dad, he is intelligent has a large vocabulary – we used to come home with our SAT word list and test him — I cannot remember him ever missing a definition – he could not spell it or sometime pronounce it the way we were taught, but he knew what the world meant.  He knows a lot of words, but he is not verbose.  My grandmother said he did not talk until he was about 4 years old.  Then he immediately spoke in complete sentences – I think she exaggerated.

I tell you that so you understand that when he decided to give advice, that it would not be wordy, but short and to the point.  In his words, “Marriage is not 50-50 give and take.  Marriage is 100% give and expect nothing in return.  Any questions?”

What I learned from that and from 23 years of marriage is that when we both give 100% and expect little in return then anything the other gives is a bonus and greatly appreciated.

“Any questions?”

– Scott

Dad (at 74) testing a Wave Runner on Labor Day 2012.

One thought on “Marriage Monday – A Short Post

  1. Thank you thank you thank you for the advice- it’s in line with everything I’ve been reading and praying about in my marriage preparation. Good to know it works! 🙂 One thing I’ve come across that I have really taken to heart and already put into practice is that I need to always respect him (even when he doesn’t deserve it). It sorta flows with a lot of the advice here, I never realized how much respect means to men before this whole journey into marriage thing. I think also we both agree that we shouldn’t let the sun set on our anger, going to bed mad (even now before we’re married and not living together or sharing a bed) only creates bitterness. It tores us apart before and took a long time to get our hearts straight afterwards…fortunately it made us realize that we didn’t want to be apart and now we’ll start our happily ever after (with some not so happily parts in there, because I know it won’t all be sunshine and roses) 😛 Thanks again for writing this- and congrats on 24 years.

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