A blog post on both sites FaihtIt and Odyssey written by Megan Aaron, a student a Troy University, is making quite an impact. Hundreds are sharing her post “Boyfriends Do Not Get Husband Privileges” and thousands are reading her advice.
As a father of son who is a recent college graduate, I am thankful Miss Aaron had the convictions and courage to write this post and to share it with the us. I applaud her for the stand she takes and I pray that young ladies and young men will heed her sound words.
Her article places a lot of responsibility on the ladies. She, as a young lady herself, can do that. She has that right. However, as I read her article, I wondered about advice for the young men who are dating. Is there a companion article, “She is a Person Not a Plaything” or “She is Your Girlfriend Not Your Wife“?
I am no longer a young man. I no longer have a girlfriend, my former girlfriend and I married each other 30 years and 7 months ago, We are husband and wife, but when we were dating we followed advice similar to what Miss Aaron offers. We saved for marriage what is for marriage. Thirty plus years later we are still in love, still enjoy life together, and are each other’s priority. Like all couples, we have our differences, but that is a blog post for another day.
I thought I would look back to my experiences, look at the world around me and author an attempt at an article to complement Miss Aaron’s “Boyfriends Do Not Get Husband Privileges”.
This One is for the
Boys Young Men
- Learn her emotions. I know this is tough for many guys, but realize that real intimacy begins with emotions. Her heart matters.
- Enjoy time together getting to know each other as a person. Spend times doing this you enjoy as well as things she enjoys. Find things you both enjoy – maybe even something new to both of you. Go see a chick-flick with her if she appreciates them.
- Do not move in together or co-habitate before marriage. Such close quarters will tempt you to want to exercise the rights of marriage. If the relationship does not work out, the emotional damage caused by giving all to someone you are not committed to for life can destroy you and her.
- Treat her like the lady she is. Treat her with respect. Stay within the boundaries of dating, she is your girlfriend not your wife. You do not belong to each other (as Miss Aaron might add) yet.
- To quote Robin Williams’ portrayal of the genie from Aladdin, “Bee yourself!” Don’t pretend to be what she wants just to manipulate her into giving you what you want. Deep, life-long, satisfying relationships are built on being truthful from the start. One couple on the occasion of their 73rd wedding anniversary told me to tell you “marriage gets sweeter every year.” This is true if you base the relationship on honesty.
- If the relationship turns to marriage (as dating relationship can and do) rid your vocabulary, and the vocabulary of you as a couple, of the word DIVORCE. The time to breakup a marriage is before it is a marriage. (This is one reason sexual intimacy is best delayed for marriage.)
What would you say to the guys?