Don’t Believe the Lies

smileMarital lies. Not the lies one might tell their husband or wife like, “I did not forget that tomorrow was our anniversary.” These marital lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

These self-lies are often the root of the arguments and irritants in our marriages.

  1. My wife (husband) should make me happy.
  2. My husband (wife) has to meet all of my needs.
  3. My spouse, because they love me, knows my needs without my having to tell her/him.
  4. I know how things should be done and my wife (husband) should be willing to do things my way.
  5. No matter what I say or do, my husband (wife) should not respond in an irritable or angry tone to me.
  6. My spouse should ask me about my day first.

I am sure that as you read the above statements you realized at least two things. 1) You tell one or more of these statements to yourself (or have in the past). And 2) You can see how unfair they are to your spouse.

Take a moment to look over these statements. If you see that you are telling yourself these lies, then learn to see them for what they are and try to think differently. Tell yourself that they are not true and try rewording them as truths. Take number 3 for an example. Tell yourself, “My spouse will only know what I need and be able to help fulfill that need when I communicate that need.”

Have a great marriage!

– Scott

2 thoughts on “Don’t Believe the Lies

  1. Oh I have told my self sone ,if not all, of these statements before. I expected Ray to know everything I wanted or needed. Now after 47 years I know a couple has to communicate with each other. For me that was so difficult because of low self as teem I had. I was at first afraid to say anything because I thought if I disagree he will leave me. How stupid was In 47 years of marriage the word DIVORCE never was brought up because we said we could argue but never me tonight the D. WORD. Marriage is a lot of work on both sides. It is not 50/ 50 . It is 100% for both

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.