Time for Marriage Monday and another post about Making Marriage Work. Last time we looked at celebrating the differences that we have with our spouses. That was good advice (if I do say so myself) but you cannot adjust to differences if you do not communicate them.
I am certain that what I share today is in books on marriage, simply because I have yet to read a book on marriage that does not in some way give time and ink to the topic of communication. I am not here to define communication or to make some grand revelation that will shock you and make you declare how intelligent or insightful I am (although, if you want to put those type statements in the comments, I will not delete them <grin>). My observation is simply that in marriage, communication takes at least two forms:
- Verbal Communication. Use your mouth (or if you are hearing impaired, use sign language) and talk to each other. Notice I said talk TO not talk AT. Talking TO each other means that both are active in the communication process. Both are listening and both are taking turns speaking. A mistake many couples make is assuming that their spouse knows what they are thinking or feeling. The only way to be sure that your husband or wife understands you is to tell them. God, in His wisdom, did not leave us to guess what He wants and desires. He tells us in His inspired Word. If God makes effort to communicate, then shouldn’t we?
- Non-Verbal Communication. These are the little things we do for each other, like love notes, love “text messages,” flowers, candy bars, holding hands, sitting next to each other on the couch – there is a reason a small couch is a “love seat.” This is why many writers encourage married couple to keep “courting.”
Keep those lines of communication open and flowing!