Marriage Monday – Marriageability Traits


I hear many young people talking about eventual marriage and mention that they are waiting for the right person.  I watch TV shows and movies in which the main character is searching for the right person.  I listen to married individuals in struggling relationships saying in so many words, that they think they married the wrong person.  Is there a right person?

God’s word describes the right person in 1Co 7:39 – as someone who is ” . . . in the Lord.”  Other than that idea, I am not convinced that there exists “one right person for everyone.”  I believe (and maybe I am idealistic) that there may be a multiplicity of people out there that are compatible to you.  There there are many people from which you can choose ONE that you could be in a successful, life-long relationship with.

The answer is not finding the “right person” the answer is BEING the right person.  Not surprisingly, God’s Word has a lot more to say about that.  Consider Peter’s admonition to wives with unbelieving husbands (I think the underlying principles in this text are applicable to husbands as well and that the characteristics should each be to make our marriages what they can be) in 1Pe 3:1-7,

“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external–the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear– but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

With this passage in mind here is a list of “Marriageability Traits.”

  1. Be Unselfish
  2. Be Patient
  3. Be Willing to Work
  4. Be Trusting
  5. Be Forgiving
  6. Be Honest
  7. Be Adaptable
  8. Be Self-disciplined
  9. Be Temperate
  10. Be Trustworthy
  11. Be Able to Apologize
  12. Be in the Lord (Cf. Gal 3:26-27)

– Scott

5 thoughts on “Marriage Monday – Marriageability Traits

  1. Thank you, brother! There are so many naive young people who are searching for that romantic “soul mate” idea. We are setting our young people up for failure when we perpetuate that idea. Thanking you for speaking the truth!

  2. Pingback: Choosing a Spouse « The Morning Drive

  3. Pingback: Right Reasons | The Morning Drive

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