image courtesy of Daniel Howell Photography

I do not know when it began.  I do not really know why.  But somehow something happened and I think we need to take a second look at what is going on.  This morning on the the DJ’s on the radio discussed a video of an engagement.  A would be groom produced a movie trailer that helped him propose to his bride to be.  The “trailer” ran in the theater where she was at a movie with her brother.  On this mornings news there was a story about a soldier who had a major recording and touring band serenade his bride-elect as he proposed.  Would-be grooms will not be out-done.  They must have the most unique and memorable proposal.  Do the young ladies expect such theatrics and over-the-top proposals to win their hearts.

Then comes the wedding.  Thousands of dollars on a “theme” at an elaborate venue just so you can show how great your wedding day was.  Brides competing to out-do their friends’ weddings.

I have an idea. I have a suggestion for another area of marital competition.  I hate to add to the fray, but not really.  I am competitive at heart.  I suggest that we begin competing with our friends to have the happiest and longest-lasting marriages.  I propose not focusing so much on the proposal and the wedding day and focusing more on the relationship and pleasing my wife (husband) daily; as long as we both live.  Below are some areas that we can spend time on to Make Marriage Matter:

1. Communication:  Take time to talk to each other about what is important.  Make an effort to say, “I love you” every day.
2. Relationship:  Keep dating, keep “courting.”  Whatever you did to convince that young lady you married to accept you – don’t stop. Whatever you did to convince that young man to hang around and ask you – keep on keeping on.  Make your relationship the most important physical and emotional relationship  you have – even greater that the one you have with your parents and  your children.
3. Finances:  Do NOT outspend your income!  Do NOT live above your means.  DO budget!  DO set aside money into savings and retirement. There is nothing wrong with living in a small house, driving older or less expensive cars, and wearing clothes off the rack at department stores or even discount stores.  Make good financial decisions.
4. Commitment:  Commit to your marriage.  Commit to your spouse.  Commit physically – they should be the only one you are ever intimate with.  Commit emotionally – they should be the one you confide in.  You should be the one they want to and willingly confide in.
5. Religion:  Study after study demonstrates the importance of joint participation in a religious atmosphere. When God is central in your individual lives and in your marriage you will work to be the person your spouse needs and loves.