Motivations, reasons, excuses . . . call them what you want, but sometimes our rationale misguides us. This is true about many areas of life. We are quite adept at convincing ourselves that any given action is what we should do, even when that action may not be the best course. This is also true in our choice to marry.

When I counsel with couples who ask me to take part in their wedding, one of the first things I ask every couple is simple, but not simple. Every couple, almost without exception looks at me as if I just fell off the back of a truck and hit my head. The question is, “Why do you want to get married?”

I ask because I believe some people choose marriage for the wrong reasons.  Here are a list of reasons that observation tells me are NOT reasons to marry:

• To escape an unhappy home.
  

  March 2013

• Because you are lonely.
• Physical appearance of the other person.
• Social pressure – every one expects you to marry.
• Guilt (pity) or feeling sorry for the other person.
• Rebellion against family (parents).
• To be taken care of (to fulfill my needs).
• Rebound from a former relationship.
• Pregnancy.

What are the reasons to get married?  That is another post for another day.

– Scott